Fear of Rejection – You, Me, Everyone, Get Over It.

Tonight readers I’m coming off a great cup of coffee with some very brilliant minds. I enjoyed dinner at Middleton’s “Johnny’s Italian Steakhouse”  and it was delicious but it paled in comparison to the conversation. John Alexandrov, Michael Friedman, Darren Kittleson, Jessica Fox and myself shared some thoughts after John & Michael’s training today on call reluctance. The day was filled with excitement, highlighted by a perfectly timed fire drill evacuating City Center West right at the peak of John’s personal story of the challenges he faced and overcame in his life. After the smoke cleared the story was finished and the message delivered without skipping a beat. I applaud John’s professionalism in that situation and trust that won’t ever happen again in his speaking career. So tonight reader I wanted to share with you my personal story of call reluctance and how I came to where I am today….still call reluctant, but not paralyzed by any one cause.

You heard me talk about “The Midnight Magic Plastic” before, you know those infomercials. What many of you don’t know is that the first business I ever started was created by one of those opportunities. Have you seen the infomercial for SMC? Yep I bought into it, and let me tell you if you can figure out a niche’ to profit selling gift items, it is a valid opportunity. So besides time, what was my biggest challenge? Fear of rejection!  So picture this….2003 I’m sitting in my home office about ready to launch my company “Gifts for Good”. My goal was to wholesale some of my products to local retail shops. I put together my prospect list, collected their numbers, ensured they weren’t on the do not call list, created some scripts on wordpad and opened 6 windows on my computer each titles with a different perceived objection. My palms were sweating, my heart racing, I looked at the phone and it looked back at me showing it’s rabid teeth. All I could think of was how much of a fool I was, how I hated being sold to and despised salespeople in general and how I didn’t really have a clue what I was doing at 22 years old with the title “owner” on my business card. Then I did it, I picked up the phone and started dialing with less and less enthusiasm as I inched closer to the last digit of my first prospect….then it happened I froze and hung up just before I completed the dial. I opened a window and swore I was having a heart attack, this was THE WORST task I had ever faced, but why? I was scared to death of what someone might say, I could be yelled at, asked something I couldn’t answer or even worse, what if they said yes I would like your product? Understand that this routine went on for a week straight…prep, prep, prep, dial, freeze, pass out followed by confusion. Then it happened after watching some violent movie, I picked up the phone, looked at my scripts, dialed and there it was, my first ring…just as I entered the “freeze” portion of my routine I heard, “Hello, thank you for calling _________.” I looked at my script which even included my name if I forgot and simply read and read and read until guess what happened…yep they said come on out we would love to see your products. This was a defining moment for me and I went on to make 10 more calls making 1 more appointment by just reading my scripts. By no means was calling something I looked forward to, something that came easy, or something that I did as much as I should have, but I had moved forward leaps and bounds. Now fast forward to 2006…

I found myself closing my “Gifts For Good” and moving on to real estate sales. Same game, new skill, old reluctance crawled back into my life. I honestly spent my first 9 months purposefully throwing myself outside of my comfort zone and my routine involved at least 3 hours per day scripting with Mike Ferry scripts. I was knocking on doors, doing home buyer seminars, attending seminars, building campaigns, websites and marketing materials. I did essentially everything  I could to keep me away from that phone. I had to have a great suit, great car and even prefaced my name with “Mr.” in my email which is still in effect today to combat my youth and insecurity. I still despised sales people, found myself cutting prospecting time short by not delivering all the door hangers or hand outs sometime tossing out hundreds of dollars of time sensitive marketing materials. I forced myself to stay outside of my comfort zone as much as I could handle and battled every single day to the point of mental exhaustion. So what changed?

I had spent my life savings and drilled myself into debt over my ears. So what changed? I was maxed out! The pride I had would not allow me to turn to anyone for help, or allow me to move towards another career. It was at this point I moved from being interested in real estate to be committed to real estate. Failure truly was not an option and my fear of rejection was dwarfed by my pride and fear of failure. I purchased top producer, implemented a high level of discipline and in the month of January I went from being ranked 400 at Century 21 to number 11. I had the momentum and when I left Century 21 I was on pace for 20-25 units which for my first full year would have been on goal and respectable…..then flash forward…May 2007 I was offered a position at Keller Williams Realty as a TL.

For me and my possible obsession with image I was on top of the world at 25 being named CEO of a million dollar corporation was a dream. The title alone was enough to get me over my initial call reluctance, however I soon found myself at the 30 day mark overwhelmed as the euphoria wore off. I realized that with just over a years worth of experience and a handful of sales that I was expected to be able to educate, consult and recruit top talent. Ha. I was again committed working 90+ hours per week trying every tactic, reading every book and applying as much as I possibly could so that I could play at the same level as top producing agents with upwards of 30 years in the business. I was on a strict regimen of scripts, role play, education and still attempting to impress with reasonable results. Then it happened…my defining moment as a team leader that leveled the playing field for me. One day I asked a top producing agent about their year and they shared openly how great it was. I then asked one of my favorite questions, the question that for me helped me know that I could help ANYONE, ANYTIME. “What would you have done differently last year?” Regardless of peoples success level, they don’t want to come off as arrogant so they will give you an answer….that simple question of self discovery made me look brilliant. SO what about call reluctance today?

I do not have a cure for call reluctance, I still have it today, but this is what helps me face the fear of rejection still lingering in my life.

• I am dedicated to my personal development and mastery of my industry.
• I know my scripts
• I am passionate about what I sell
• I have clearly defined goals
• I know that I CAN help people and I owe it to them
• My fear is not logical, most  calls are pleasurable
• If I screw up a call or an appointment, guess what there are 2899 more opportunities available in my market.
• When someone says no, I know it is just “not right now”.
• Lead generation is a process….I know that if I put 50 people through my process in a week, I will typically gain 4 agents in that month.
• I am proud to speak the language of sales and understand that it is the most profitable language in print.

People say “Brett, you are a smooth talker.” or “Brett those “scripts” just come naturally.” or “You can handle every objection so well.” Well now you all know the rest of the story that started in 2003 and involved a massive personal committment to overcome. I have been so far from my comfort zone for so long, it is almost comforting to be uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I still face the same challenges daily I just understand my history with those challenges and have become very efficient at “talking myself down”. Anyone can overcome call reluctance if I can, remember it has not even been 3 years since I left my previous employer. All it takes is confidence and that comes with committment, education and scripts.

So what are you going to do?

Another blog by Brett Boettge

Unpublished – “First Class Coach”

Good evening readers…. this is a blog that I wrote prior to knowing I was going to be a Father…. the tone is cynical, so much so I never published this. In this real estate war, I believe it’s message has become very relevant and now that I am a Father I can get away with the crack about crying babies…..(It is true, I don’t hear the cries now, or at least I hear them differently) This blog I wrote give me perspective…..I wrote this less than 8Months ago and so much has change for me I am wildly grateful. The not about the flight delay….now I know that I should be grateful. Madison to Austin 200 years ago was a trek I likely wouldn’t survive…. now its about 3 hours with beverage service and an in flight movie. So with no further ado… here is the unpublished more cynical side of Brett Boettge, the side less conscious restraint.

A First Class Coach

 

This is my first “In Your Face” blog at KWMadison News, it may offend some and open the eyes of others, it is however the bottom line. I will always write an “In Your Face” type blog from the confines of a stuffy airport terminal. As I type right now, I find myself at Gate 4 in the Dane County Regional Airport. The first 28 minutes were spent watching a ticket agent jockey my flight around the country because, “Sir we can’t find your pilot!”. It only seemed appropriate that a close by newborn let out a 28 minute long war cry. As counterintuitive as it seems, there must be a filter awarded at parenthood which blocks out these cries for help because clearly I was the only one that could hear this kid, and the least capable of helping her. Next I walked through security wondering how it is that not everyone has flown since the tragedies of 9/11. Seriously check your liquids or leave them at home, and YES your belt does have metal on it, come on people get it together! Do you really want to flirt with that cavity search? I walked to my gate passing women at the bar that must have been delayed since the 90’s singing the last “Ace of Base” hit or a slurred version of it only to arrive at Gate 4…. delayed for another two hours….so you my treasured readers are in for a treat.

 

Now you have the necessary background information to understand the mind-set I adopt to write an “In Your Face” entry in this blog. Cynical maybe, but truly deep down I love the concept of travel and not just the destination, for me the journey is just as powerful if not more so. It’s not all bad…. I have a priest sitting next to me which regardless of beliefs can’t hurt my odds of a safe landing.

 

Oh right this is a real estate blog.. so here it is! Get out there and do it! The end….  No really this is it! This entry is meant for those of you that know what to do, and resist it. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that so many people don’t come to trainings, claim they know how to do it and still don’t succeed. Really I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here and agreeing that you KNOW EXACTLY what it is you NEED to be doing and HOW to do it. So please tell me, why are you not successful. All I can figure out is that consciously or otherwise you have made a choice not to succeed. Keller Williams Realty has supplied to all real estate professionals a model that works! Will you choose to use it?

 

During a great conversation with my coach Michael Bastian from the MAPS Institute of Keller Williams Realty International, he told me, “When someone doesn’t know how to do something, they need training. When someone knows how to do something and still neglects to do it they need coaching.” Now ask yourself some key questions…..

• Do you know how to be successful in real estate? If so write it down now..
• Are you successful? I don’t mean busy, I mean have you achieved the level of success you imagined at that very moment you passed your test now that we are 1, 2, 5, 10 years later?
• Why? When did you become a “Committed NON Achiever?” A term I added to my vocabulary after a recent seminar.
• When are you going to wake up and realize that the difference between 1 transaction per year and 100 is a simple choice?
• Who is going to be your First Class Coach? (notice the travel reference there)

 

I work with agent’s everyday from Keller Williams and others companies who have made the choice to not be successful whether they know it or not. Some are truly happy selling one maybe two homes per year. I know there is that other group in there and you know who you are. The real estate professionals that tell themselves they are happy with one or two transactions per year when the envisioned an enterprise after this long in the business. Don’t lie to yourself anymore it’s not worth it. Make a choice today to correct that swing, be successful and find a first class coach to help you get there. For some it will be me, for others it will be their therapist. The point…. You need one because clearly you have seen the model of success and ignored it. You know who you are, forgive yourself for the past, move forward with a new attitude and find your success… it’s your choice and it’s simple.

 

Another real estate blog by Brett Boettge….. thank you for reading……..

Visit my blog at www.unlockingbrett.wordpress.com while I try and figure out this ping.fm gizmo